Reasons to Stay: Let’s Talk About Marriage and Relationships

Imagine this: Sarah and John have been married for 10 years. They’ve built a life together, raising two kids, sharing countless memories, and tackling life’s challenges as a team. But lately, Sarah feels disconnected. She’s been asking John for help with the never-ending list of chores and responsibilities, but nothing seems to change. When she tries to talk about how she feels, John takes it as a personal attack, and their conversations end in frustration. Sarah has also realized something even harder to admit: she doesn’t feel the love she once did for John. Yet, Sarah believes in the covenant of marriage—a spiritual commitment she takes deeply to heart. She wonders if staying in the relationship, despite her feelings, might lead to healing and growth. Sound familiar? Let’s talk about why staying in your marriage or relationship might actually be worth it, even when it feels challenging. And if it’s a relationship without the same spiritual commitment, let’s consider how these steps could guide you toward clarity, whether it’s staying or moving on.

1. Commitment Is Messy (and That’s Okay)

For Sarah, marriage hasn’t been the fairy tale she imagined. The disconnect with John has made her question everything, but she also knows that commitment doesn’t always feel romantic or easy. It’s about doing the work, even when it’s hard. Staying gives Sarah and John the opportunity to address what’s really going on in their relationship and build a stronger connection. In a non-marital relationship, this can also mean evaluating whether both partners are equally invested in doing the work to grow together.

2. Tough Times Don’t Last Forever

Sarah’s frustration feels overwhelming right now, but is it permanent? Maybe not. Every marriage and relationship has rough patches. By staying, Sarah and John have the chance to push through this challenging season and discover if their bond can be revitalized. For many couples, weathering the storm together can lead to deeper love and understanding. This can also help reduce the anxiety and depression that often stem from dissatisfaction in a relationship. However, in non-marital relationships, if the tough times seem endless and one-sided, it may be worth considering whether the partnership is still serving both individuals.

3. Nobody’s Perfect—and That’s a Good Thing

Sarah knows that both she and John have their flaws. Her frustration with his lack of support and his defensiveness doesn’t mean they’re doomed—it means they’re human. Marriage has a way of exposing areas for growth. If Sarah and John can face these imperfections together, they might come out stronger and more self-aware. Addressing these issues can also alleviate feelings of helplessness, which are often linked to depression in relationships. In a non-marital relationship, these imperfections might prompt a different kind of evaluation: Are both partners willing to grow together, or is the relationship bringing out more pain than progress?

4. Talking Can Change Everything

Sarah’s attempts to communicate have often ended in arguments, leaving her feeling unheard. But staying gives her and John a chance to learn better ways to talk and really hear each other. With patience, vulnerability, and maybe the help of a therapist, their conversations could shift from defensive to constructive. Open communication is key to reducing relationship-based anxiety and building trust. In a relationship without the formal bond of marriage, the ability to communicate openly might also reveal whether the partnership is sustainable or whether it’s time to move on.

5. Look at the Big Picture

When Sarah thinks back to their wedding day, she remembers the dreams they had for their future. Staying in the marriage gives her the chance to revisit those dreams and decide if they still align with where she and John are headed. It also lets her model resilience for their kids—showing them that love and commitment aren’t always easy, but they’re worth fighting for. Reconnecting with the big picture can ease the anxiety of feeling stuck and provide clarity about the relationship’s direction. For non-marital relationships, this might involve asking: Does this partnership fit into my long-term vision for my life, or am I holding onto something that no longer aligns with my values and goals?

6. You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

Sarah’s struggles feel heavy, but she doesn’t have to carry them by herself. Therapy could give her and John a safe space to work through their challenges. A skilled therapist can help them navigate the tension, rebuild trust, and rediscover what brought them together in the first place. Seeking professional help can be a vital step in addressing marital dissatisfaction, along with the anxiety and depression that often accompany it. For relationships outside of marriage, therapy can also provide clarity on whether staying together is the healthiest choice for both partners.

7. What Matters Most to You?

For Sarah, her spiritual beliefs anchor her decision to stay. She sees marriage as a covenant, a promise that goes beyond fleeting emotions. Reconnecting with her values helps her focus on the bigger picture and reminds her why she’s choosing to invest in her relationship. Understanding her core values also gives Sarah a sense of purpose, which can mitigate feelings of depression and uncertainty about the future of her marriage. In non-marital relationships, the absence of a spiritual covenant might make it easier to evaluate whether the relationship is serving its purpose or whether it’s time to part ways.

The Bottom Line

For Sarah and John, staying doesn’t mean ignoring the problems—it means facing them head-on. It means choosing to believe in the possibility of healing and growth. Marriage is rarely easy, but the hardest things in life are often the most rewarding. Addressing the anxiety and depression that can stem from marital struggles requires patience, effort, and sometimes professional guidance. But with time, these challenges can turn into opportunities for growth. In non-marital relationships, these steps might also lead to the realization that letting go is the best path toward personal fulfillment and peace.

Disclaimer: This blog is not intended to apply to or rationalize staying in abusive relationships. Abuse—whether physical, emotional, or otherwise—is never acceptable. If you or someone you know is in an abusive marriage or relationship, please seek help immediately. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit www.thehotline.org for resources and support. Your safety is the top priority, and there are shelters and services ready to assist you.